sine sole sileo

I do not wish to burden you with my battles.
In the silence of the morning, i hear the noise in my head.

amare et sapere vix deo conceditur

writing again but this time no tears guide my hand.

just faceless whispers coaxing words.

letters tumbling over one another.

like water roiling in waves.

don't keep still.

ad interim

i taste copper
i taste salt
i look for heroes in the wrong places.

champions not of which i am surrounded.

of tears and abandonment

you took my hand, led me down a flower-lined path, promising me eternity.
through the twists and turns, the flowers grew thorns; they pricked and drew blood.
i took no heed, endured the million stings, because you were looking too far ahead to notice.
and then at once the path stopped, with nary a fork to guide us.
you let go of my hand, went on walking, you didn't even look back to see if i was following.
i stared at your figure, getting smaller and smaller; i was too dumbfounded and lost and abandoned to make my own step.

aut vincere aut mori

it's been two weeks.
i coast along in vodka-sprite-induced lucidity, hating the long days and the even longer nights.

there is no sleep for the weak and even less for the dying.

i have made friends with alcohol, but i have not made peace with it yet.
the constant need for the anesthesia brought on by triple-distilled spirits is creating a dependency i am still denying.

my right hand is bruised from an attempt to inflict pain on the wall--
innocent witness to my self-destruction.

i have lost all instinct of self-preservation, self-respect.
i have no love left to my name.

hey boy, a bucket of ice and your best, please.

a fortiori

seeking solace and solitude in song.

horrid habit

pakdatshet

Click to zoom in.

Coke*Dunhill Lights*Megamall

dati coke ang best friend ko.
ngayon may kabarkada na sha. minsan.
dunhill lights.
di ko naman yosi yan. impluwensya na rin ni mylee at...

dyaraaan!

hindi-ako-marunong-tumawid-mag-isa-papuntang-megamall-para-bumili-ng-marlboro-lights.

lumabas ang katotohanan *dyahe* buking

haay megamall.
so near yet so far.

shut up you.

Pew! Pew!

Ouch. Tinamaan ka ba?
AHECHU.
Fwends ko lang meh alam nyan. Haha.
Not that you're missing out on anything by not being my friend.
You're so lost in your little world that you're oblivious to everyone else.
Kala mo naman special suman ka.
Asah.
Isawsaw ka man sa asukal, kahit langgam tatanggihan ka.
Awa na lang ako sayo, wala kseng magkamaling pumatol.
Hihihi. Ansamako.
Sha, sha, tama na't baka pa makarma.
See you soon!