scarred

it was unnerving, finally hearing from you and reading the message you sent.

i look out the window and stare at the roof. i remember when we used to crawl to the edges and lay there on the uneven surface, not caring if the roof was dirty or if it was muggy or if my neighbors were looking at us like we were freaks. what mattered were the stars and the constellations and that we were together. we'd stay for hours until mom screamed at us to get off or the mosquitoes have had their fill.
i remember the time we had a picnic and we both fell asleep. the car was a few meters away and we left the keys in the ignition. what if someone ran off with the benz? haha. our parents would have killed us, but we didn't care, did we?
we did the stupidest things. we'd trade socks just for the heck of it. i'd slip your used shirt on my pillow just so i could fall asleep with "you" in my arms. i loved how you smell of baby powder and shampoo under Fahrenheit.
you loved naps. like a cat, you'd nod off on my lap while i played with your hair. i was fascinated with the shape of your nose and how you woke up, opening one eye first, peeking at me, and then finally opening both your beautiful eyes with those girly lashes. i saw the world in them.
i remember asking myself what good i did to deserve you. i remember mom telling me that you actually went to where she was hanging out with her friends, talked to her about your good intentions, drove her home, opened the gate for dad at 5 in the morning, all this while i was snoring my butt off in my room, oblivious to the most pivotal event in our relationship.
we should have kept us to ourselves. but we wanted so much to let everyone know about us. we wanted so much for them to witness our happiness that they got in the way. everyone and everything got in the way.

funny how i start remembering things just when i thought... nothing.
i'm scarred for life.